Ramadan this year seems to be flying by ... We've already completed the first half, and my heart is finally starting to settle in ... The Prophet (pbuh) was right in saying "The love for Allah and the love for the dunya can never sit in a single heart" ... For the last 8 months, I've struggled back and forth with deen and dunya ... I prayed that Allah would remove the love of dunya from my heart ... That He would make me fall in love with Him and His Prophet (SAW) ... That He would make my best deeds come, before I die ... That He would make me among those who are Shakoor ... I waited patiently... For a sign or a feeling ... Tonight I realzed that His delays, are not His denials ... Tonight was the 2nd time in the 14 days of Ramadan, that I went for the Taraweeh prayer ... And as I prayed side to side, foot to foot beside my best friend, leaving no room for Shaitaan, I remembered praying to Allah this morning that He bless me with the sweetness of Imaan ... Even if it be for a moment ... Then I remembered my conversation with my fathers this morning as he drove me to work ... I told him a story about Zaynab (RA), the daughter of Ali (RA) and Fatima (RA) and the granddaughter of Muhammad (SAW) ... Zaynab (RA) asked her father Ali (RA), "Do you love us ???" and Ali (RA) replied "Ofcourse I do, you are my family" ... Zaynab (RA) asked her father, "How can you love Allah and the dunya in the same heart ???" Ali (RA) replied " What do you think I should do ???" Zaynab (RA) said " How about you love Allah, and just take care of us ???" ... SubhanAllah ... She was 5 years old, and she had already graduated from university ...She graduated from the university of Muhammad (SAW) ... After that, my dad told me not to be among those who come into the deen and then leave it ... To keep up my prayers and ibaada ... That you can lose that sweetness of imaan just as easily as you get it ... And remembering all this while listening to the beautiful recitation of the imam started to stir up emotions inside of me that I had no control over ... My soul was crying ... Longing to come back to its natural state ... I began to weep ... Beside my best friend, who had never heard or seen me cry before ... I realized the beauty of the Qur'aan ... The words of Allah are so powerful, that when the soul penetrates it, it can no longer contain itself ... My heart cried tonight ... Even the heart cannot contain that much truth ... (c)
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